I'm just exhausted!! Today has been one of those days where all I seem fit for is sleeping. It's such a weird thing and really hard to describe to people because my tired is not your tired. I used to get tired on the weekends I'd been out friday, saturday and then finishing it off in the pub on sunday. But this tired is different. One of the joys of MS is fatigue. I hate saying I'm fatigued cause it makes me sound quite stuck up " no I'm not tired I'm fatigued" but it is the best way to describe it. It comes on for no reason at all. I had a good 8 hours sleep last night so it's not lack of sleep. Ant cooked our 3 course lunch today so it wasn't that. I did my bits of housework, but again it's not too stressful. It just comes on for no reason. I worry that people think I am lazy but it has a weird effect on my body. My legs going is the main thing but I also get this weird thing with my eyes where they go blurry and won't focus that quickly, it's a bit like the when you have been out in the sun all day and you forgot your sunglasses so have been squinting, does that make sense?
Our friend has been round today as he is moving to the states on wednesday and as much as I want to spend loads of time with him, I slept for 2 hours while he was here! Makes me feel so rude!
I think part of it comes from the emotional strain i've been under with my nan. I tend to find when my brain is dealing with hard things my body goes into shut down. I really wish the two of them would work together sometimes rather than always annoying each other. It always happens when I am going out. My brains says " really looking forward to tonight" and starts planning outfits whilst my body says "i don't think so brain, I am going to make the legs wobbily so those heels are out of picture. Just be boring and wear some nice ballet pumps. On second thoughts why not just stay in?" it drives me mad!!
I'm really hoping they can start working together this week, especially tuesday as I am having a day out with my friend Laura. Its a bridal evening so we can get some ideas for he wedding in december. I am also doing some research for my friend Di who is starting to plan hers after her Fiance proposed last week! I've also got to get the legs and brain working for that as she has asked me to be a bridesmaid and I want to be able to walk behind her without having a stick! xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment