I am a bad bad blogger!!

There's just too much going on at the moment! Its crazy!
OK so what have I been up too?

Well no 1, growing like you wouldn't believe! My bump feels massive but baby has only just started to put on weight so I'm just going to keep on expanding! How on earth is there going to be enough stretch in my skin?!?!?!?!?
We have another scan next week which I am very excited by! I guess in a way, I'm lucky I have MS because all of my friends who are preggers ate the mo, have had their final scan and won't see baby until its born but I've got three more! I'll update this with new pics once we've had it xxx

The things they don't really tell you about pregnancy!

I have read so many books, have lots of phone apps and spoken to everyone I know that has had a baby in the last few years and there are some things people don't really mention a lot about:

1. The hair!! And I'm not talking about the super thick head hair growth, I'm  talking tummy hair! Its crazy but I think my stomach is now rivaling my husbands for hairyness. Thankfully its Blondie not dark, but if it catches the sunlight, I can seriously rival chewbacca! I'm really hoping it all falls out after the birth otherwise I shall not be wearing a bikini without some serious waxing!

2. Constipation: all the pregnancy books mention this but none go into the horror of not being able to "go" for four days!! I know this is hardly conversation for polite society, but it's a nightmare! Its equally bizarre for me as my MS tends to have the opposite problem for me so this is weird! I'm trying really hard to put this in nice ways but its not exactly nice conversation!!

The other thing i am finding hard because there is no info on it is dealing with ms & pregnancy. I honestly cant be the only woman to get pregnant whilst having ms and yet there is nothing to help me through. A lot of the symptoms i am getting in pregnancy are similar to ms symptoms. The legs cramps which I'm getting at the moment are apparently common in second trimester but I get these anyway with MS and its so much harder to wriggle the cramp off when your legs are bad. The back ache as well is killer! How do you deal with a painful back when not only is it the pain but you also get odd spasms in it too! gggrrrr!

OK enough moaning! Tomorrow I am going to reclaim this website for its original purpose, showing MS does not mean you give up on life. For all the moaning I have actually done a lot in the past few weeks so I'll tell all tomorrow! xxx

wow, i can access this at work now!

Have just discovered that I can access this at work! Wicked!
OK so bump update! Well the bump is really making itself known to the world! It's huge and I'm only half way through! I'm now just waiting for the 20 week scan and to feel pip kick for the first time! Come on pip, kick!! I need to add some of my bump watch pics that my husband has been taking on here, that way the world can see the size of it!

On another note I am really starting to struggle clothes wise which is making the silly vain side of me cross! I love a summer dress and have so many pretty ones. Unfortunately they are all sitting in my wardrobe calling to me "oh but Emmy, pleeeeaaassseee wear us! We love the sunshine!" Instead of pretty dresses though I am still wearing jeans and leggings and tunic tops! I want pretty summer dresses!!!!! And summer sandals with heels!! Obviously with pregnancy you shouldn't wear heels too much but the joy of pregnancy AND MS is that this is not even an option :( Silly MS legs are being absolute pains at the moment! I swear someone has a little key and are tightening up all of the muscles in my legs making it hard to move them. If this is you and you have the key, please stop!!

Oooo not sure where that rant came from! OK on to happier things!

Had a lovely weekend! Went to Hampstead heath with hubby and two friends and their little boy for a picnic. It was so much fun and such a lovely sunny day (I even got a bit sun burnt, oops!). I love the summer so much, especially the change in mood it brings on most people! Everyone is so happy and smiley! It's really odd, because pre MS I wasn't a lover of summer. Pasty pale skin, hayfever and an abundance of freckles used to make it less than enjoyable for me. Since I've had MS the summer is my favourite! I used to love the Autumn & Winter. Going for long walks in the ever changing colours, stomping in the snow and how magical it made everything look! Now I hate it! I think this comes from the dreadful affect the cold has on my legs and also the fact that I can't do those long walks anymore and as for snow.... jeeez, I quite like being upright!
Ooh I'm in a funny mood today! This post has been all over!
We have friends coming for dinner tonight which is very exciting! They are pregnant as well and due a week before us!
Loads of love xxx

I really don't think I had realised how hard this was going to be

I don't want people to think that I am ungrateful or don't want to be pregnant but I don't think I quite comprehended how hard this was going to be.
My legs are as always the main issue for me. Before we started trying for a baby, they would always be the things that caused me the most problems but it was managable and I was a lot more mobile and able to keep them moving. Having been off meds for 2 years now I can really feel the change in them. They are so stiff and heavy and really painful, especially at night. I think that is what has inspired this moany post! Due to the pain in my legs I am not sleeping at all and waking up in agony needing to stretch. Obviously lack of sleep is not good at any time, even less so when your body is using everything it has to grow a new life!
I hate being a whinge as that is just not in my nature but I'm so tired and in so much pain I just want to scream!!
I need to keep focused on why my body is like this and the great thing that will be here in 5 months which I know will make all of this totally worth it. I think I'm just having  a down day and need to perk myself up!

On the positive side of things, my lovely husband painted the nursery yesterday!! This is no mean feat in itself as it has taken us a while to decide on a colour! At one point we had 12 patches of different paint on the wall and my baby/designer brain was not happy with any of them! "thats nice, but too grey" "yuk, hate that too dark!" "hmmm ok but it's too much on the grey side, needs some yellow in it" I think Ant was close to just painting it white and telling me to shut up! We eventually settled on a lovely shade of pale yellow which is great for either a boy or girl. The really daft thing about it is, when Ant was getting out all the painting equipment, he found the paint we used in the hallway, and guess what? It was practically the same colour we had gone for in the nursery! typical! xxxx

so, what's going on in baby growing world?

Well, I'm getting a lot bigger, the sickness has stopped and we've heard the bumps heartbeat again!!

Lets talk about my size first: this bump is huge! I love that you can now see that I am pregnant and not just getting fat. It's quite an odd feeling though. I keep imagining what it is going to be like in a couple of months time when I won't be able to see my feet. I'm also waiting to start feeling those magical kicks. All of the books/I-Phone apps we have say that I might be able to start feeling them from this week and I think I might have done but not sure! I think I want the bump to give me a huge kick so I know for sure!

Hearing the bumps heartbeat again was so magical. It was quite scary though as it took what seemed like an age to find it! According to Ant my face went from super happy smiley to almost in tears until they found it! It's such an amazing sound when they did. The best way I can describe it is like being under water hearing a really fast drum beat. Its amazing!!

I would say the only thing causing me problems at the moment are my legs. Not being on my medication for the past two years is really starting to show. My legs feel really un co-ordinated, I am tripping up quite a bit and my legs are so heavy it's really hard to lift them sometimes. Whilst I've been off the meds, when I have had these sort of relapsing symptoms, a course of steroids has done me the world of good and got me back to a cope-able level. Obviously taking steroids whilst pregnant is not an option so I have to just get on with it. I feel really awful wishing that I could have steroids because I know that they could cause problems for the baby but I really wish I could walk with a bit more ease. Am I mean? I keep worrying as well about when bump is here. If my legs stay this bad, will I be able to carry bump around the house? Will I be able to take bump for a walk if my legs are playing up? Will I be able to drive bump to Dr's appointments? When would I go back on meds because I really want to try and breast feed but you can't take meds at the same time so I'll need to wait until I've finished feeding. It's a really weird feeling because there is the majority of me that wants to do everything I can to make sure our baby is as well looked after whilst I'm growing her/him  but there is also a tiny selfish bit of me that wants to make sure that I'm OK and able to carry on with my life as best as possible. I don't know if it's pregnancy hormones or what but I'm so up and down at the moment. I'm not sure where my head is. I'm excited but nervous, scared but really looking forward to the challenges. Pregnancy is such an odd yet so natural state to be in!

I love it though and really can't wait for pip to get here xxx

What a lazy lazy lazy lazy lazy lazxy blogger I am!!

Wow, I knew I hadn't updated this for a long time but didn't realise that time was 6 months long!!
OK, so what has happened in the last 6 months? Quite a lot actually! First off I passed my driving test!! Yippee! Hooray!! Woo Hoo!!! It was second time lucky but I did it! Very pleased with myself for doing it. It was no mean feat what with feeling a relapse coming on at the same time, but I did it and now have my lovely little car to go driving in! Vroom Vroom! Beep beep!

OK so apart from driving what else has been going on?? well not much..........unless getting pregnant isn't much!!!!!!!

After 18 months of trying we are now expecting our first little baby!!! I'm so excited!!!

We've had the three month scan and all looks good, this baby like to wriggle which is a good sign, it was having a good move around in the scan. It's due in September, will probably be born by elective c-section as my neuro thinks it will be too hard to give birth naturally due to the effect not being on meds whilst trying has had on my legs and back. This is a shame a I'm a bit squeemish about operations but as long as pip (when we found out I was pregnant s/he was the size of an apple pip, the name's just stuck) come into to the world safely & healthy I don't care!

I won't pretend that the last 18 months have been easy, I've really struggled with my MS and its been so hard at times, but getting that blue line on the test and seeing pip on the scan has made it all worth it!!

Well, that's enough writing for today, I don't want to over do it on my first day back !!! But tomorrow you can  expect more past 6 months detail i.e going to New York, turning 30!!

xxxxx