so, what's going on in baby growing world?

Well, I'm getting a lot bigger, the sickness has stopped and we've heard the bumps heartbeat again!!

Lets talk about my size first: this bump is huge! I love that you can now see that I am pregnant and not just getting fat. It's quite an odd feeling though. I keep imagining what it is going to be like in a couple of months time when I won't be able to see my feet. I'm also waiting to start feeling those magical kicks. All of the books/I-Phone apps we have say that I might be able to start feeling them from this week and I think I might have done but not sure! I think I want the bump to give me a huge kick so I know for sure!

Hearing the bumps heartbeat again was so magical. It was quite scary though as it took what seemed like an age to find it! According to Ant my face went from super happy smiley to almost in tears until they found it! It's such an amazing sound when they did. The best way I can describe it is like being under water hearing a really fast drum beat. Its amazing!!

I would say the only thing causing me problems at the moment are my legs. Not being on my medication for the past two years is really starting to show. My legs feel really un co-ordinated, I am tripping up quite a bit and my legs are so heavy it's really hard to lift them sometimes. Whilst I've been off the meds, when I have had these sort of relapsing symptoms, a course of steroids has done me the world of good and got me back to a cope-able level. Obviously taking steroids whilst pregnant is not an option so I have to just get on with it. I feel really awful wishing that I could have steroids because I know that they could cause problems for the baby but I really wish I could walk with a bit more ease. Am I mean? I keep worrying as well about when bump is here. If my legs stay this bad, will I be able to carry bump around the house? Will I be able to take bump for a walk if my legs are playing up? Will I be able to drive bump to Dr's appointments? When would I go back on meds because I really want to try and breast feed but you can't take meds at the same time so I'll need to wait until I've finished feeding. It's a really weird feeling because there is the majority of me that wants to do everything I can to make sure our baby is as well looked after whilst I'm growing her/him  but there is also a tiny selfish bit of me that wants to make sure that I'm OK and able to carry on with my life as best as possible. I don't know if it's pregnancy hormones or what but I'm so up and down at the moment. I'm not sure where my head is. I'm excited but nervous, scared but really looking forward to the challenges. Pregnancy is such an odd yet so natural state to be in!

I love it though and really can't wait for pip to get here xxx